What we are not
There are so many things that are connected to the expression ”sexual magic” that we feel the need not only to speak about what we are and what we do but also what we are not. Since our mutual experiences are a huge part of what we are writing about, it is also important to remember that it is impossible for us to experience everything that is connected to sexual magick by the very nature of who we are and how we relate to each other.
We are not at the beginners level of experience (sexual and magical)
We are not beginners, neither in magick nor in sex or, indeed in sexual magick. Doing sexual magick is about harnessing the energy in sex to create magickal change. To be able to do that you should be used to working magick and be used to having sex. Remember that you have to be able to focus on your magickal goal while being aroused, having sex and having orgasms. This is not an easy task. While you may think that it’s easy to have sex and that magickal focus is the hard part, most magick workers who aren’t beginners actually find it harder to keep up the sexual part while being focused on the magickal goal, given that the focus is so esoteric and spiritual, something that they are used to uphold in various circumstances, while the sex is a bodily function that they are less trained to uphold. Beginners, on the other hand, might discover that the sex makes them forget all together to keep focus on the magickal operation. Experience in both fields, separately, is the key to success here.
We are not unaware of the effects of magick
Doing magickal work has its consequences (if not, why would you do it?). There’s a lot to think about before doing it both from an ethical point of view (how will your work affect others?) and from the view of the expected results (is this really something that you want, and at what cost?). Having done magickal work for many years we are both aware of the consequences of our work and are taking responsibility for our actions, both seen and unseen, and we hope that you are too. If you use any of the techniques and rituals written about here, the actions taken by you and the results created is your responsibility, as in all magickal workings or, indeed, everything in life.
We are not part of a particular magickal tradition
While we have experiences and initiations from several different magickal traditions to choose from between us, our sexual magick is not focused on a specific one. Instead, we are trying to include those experiences into our work so that it will merge into something new, that is our own way of working magick. That means that this does not represent any particular tradition but are instead the result of many.
We are not unbalanced persons
Our starting point is that you have overcome any inhibitions as to having sex or being attractive enough for your partner. If you haven’t, you’re going to have a hard time doing sex magick since your inhibitions will create negative energy that will work against the energy created by your sex magick operation. This is not about “is it ok for me to enjoy having sex?” or “will I measure up?”. We assume that you want to have sex and want to have it with each other. If not, there are plenty of therapeutic literature and texts out there for you but you won’t find it here.
We are not just spicing up our sex life
Even though we recognize this as something that is included in sexual magic, it will not be something that we focus on. Adding some ritual elements to your sexual act might both give you more interesting sex and a better understanding and focus on your partner, through the ritual and magical framework. This can be a good way to start if you’re unexperienced in the field of sexual magick but since the focus of that kind of spiced up encounter is to have sex rather than to work magick, it won’t be a focus for our work or for our blog, except for when it is used to create connections later to be used for magical work.
We are not a same sex couple or have that much experiences of same sex sexual magick
We are a couple with a heterosexual relationship. That means that our experience with same sex sexual magick is limited, especially with the kind that focuses on men only. Our focus is on the work we do, which is based on the specifics of our relationship. While we hope that some of what we do might be universally applied by those interested in sexual magick, much of it will also be specific for a heterosexual setting.
We do not have a focus on blind partner workings nor a male focus (as per many traditions of sexual magick)
On the other hand, the fact that we are a couple of experienced magick workers also means that there’s no need for an unknowing, “blind”, partner, instead we have the opportunity to see what both of us will bring to the magickal operations. So many texts about sex magick are written by men for men with a focus on how a man can work sexual magick with either a blind partner or a partner who’s energy and addition to the work doesn’t really count more than as a body and a vessel very much as any other magical tools. That is not us. We know that nobody is just a tool and our mutual energy is what we bring to our work. (Speaking of blind partners, we have discussed the ethics of this a lot and will surely write about it here. Keep your eyes open for it if you’re interested in this particular subject.)
We are not afraid of sexual bodily fluids
Our cakes of light include elixir X in it’s original (unburned) form. We also share the elixir between us, that is our charged sexual fluids, both that which is created with and that without menstrual blood, and usually ingest it. Since the created elixir contains energies that we will need to partake of for some magickal operations, we cannot be afraid of or disgusted by our own or each other’s sexual fluids and neither can you if you want to work the way we do. This, of course, also means that you have to know and trust your partner to be sexually healthy, and to keep being so, but since we assume that you have an active sex life to begin with, that is something you should have under control anyway.
In short, this is a research blog for the advancement of the Sexual Magickal discipline, held by a hetero couple. This is in other words not a blog for beginners, nor do we cater to a specific sexual magickal school as such. We do not claim to cover all bases nor to be universally applicable to all, yet hopefully an inspiration to some, and a resource to others.